I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
