i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
She said her name was "party"
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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