I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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