If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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