chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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