ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
my mouth tastes like poor choices
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
