Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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