dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
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