the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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