We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
We don't watch enough power rangers
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize