It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
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