Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
