saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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