I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
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