i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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