Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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