I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
