what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Randomize
