They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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