Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
