9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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