Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Randomize
