At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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