Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I had to cum in my sink.
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