Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize