so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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