she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
