i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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