As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
