So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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