why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
