Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Randomize
