Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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