Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
