yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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