Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Less talking, more tequila
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
