yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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