Its about making memories worth repressing
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
