Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
MIDGETS
????
Randomize