wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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