You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
