OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
