You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
