If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
