smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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