Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
