There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Randomize
