if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
