So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
