A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
