Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
