Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
