Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
