You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
