Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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