Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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