I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."�
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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